McMurtry family
Tell us a bit about your family
My husband Andrew and I met each other at high school and became quite good friends. We ended up getting married and now have one daughter and two sons, and of course our rescue dog Marley. We are a pretty neurodiverse household. I have anxiety and depression, as well as some physical health issues. Our eldest boy has combined ADHD and our youngest boy is autistic. Both boys experience sensory processing difficulties and show signs of anxiety. Our fur baby Marley also has anxiety. We joke he knew we’d understand him :)
What are some of the joys of parenting a child with a disability?
I think one of the biggest joys is learning to be present in the moment, whether it be seeing a new skill develop or knowing you are your child’s safe place and they can turn to you for comfort and security. We also feel deeply and whilst that can often mean big angry or sad emotions, it also means our joy is BIG too. Our boys have the best sense of humour and that gives us great joy.
What are some of the challenges that you have faced while parenting a child with a disability?
I think one of the challenges is dealing with societal and sometimes family expectations. They don’t always see what we do as supporting our children, particularly with their emotional regulation. A lot of that challenge comes with my own people pleasing nature and learning to let go of what others think, and instead listening to autistic voices and being guided on how best to support our boys to be the best versions of themselves in a world that is often not the most welcoming or accessible place.
How has your faith been stretched or grown on your parenting journey?
My faith in God went through a rough patch in those early parenting years, with three kids under three, postnatal depression, studying and working part time. Whilst I never stopped knowing God, I think I definitely had a lack of trust in certain things. As we have gone through the roller coaster of being parents, I think I can see clearer than ever God’s hand in every aspect of our lives and have become closer to Him.
Do you have any words of encouragement to share with other families of children with disabilities?
You don’t do this journey alone. Know that God loves you. He made you and your children. Fearfully. Wonderfully. In His image. He will sustain you – even when it feels like you are drowning. Nothing can separate you from His love, not a diagnosis, not continuous assessments, not people’s opinions.
How can the wider church support your family?
I think that the wider church needs to listen more to disabled voices and their families on how best to include disabled people within the church, and to make church more accessible and welcoming for these people and their families.
Where are you based?
Penrith, Sydney
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The views and opinions expressed on this site are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of The 139 Collective. As a collective, we seek to humbly learn from each other’s experiences and remember the unity that we share in Christ even when our current viewpoints on the difficult topic of disability differ.
