Dodd family
Tell us a bit about your family
Our family are followers of Jesus. We’re Matt & Erica and we were married in 2008 and have since been blessed with three delightful children: Ariana, Stephen, and Noah.
Our youngest child, Noah, was born in 2018 and has Down Syndrome, also known as Trisomy 21 because it is caused by a third (extra) copy of chromosome 21.
We found out that Noah would likely have Down Syndrome soon after our 19-week prenatal scan. A follow-up scan showed he had a large hole in his heart that would require open heart surgery at 3-6 months.
What helped you through that difficult time in his life?
Through pregnancy and these early days of meeting Noah it was a challenge not to be all-consumed by the news. But we knew many other things were far more important to his identity than his medical diagnosis. We knew that he was not only our dearly loved son, but God’s dearly loved son. He wasn’t only made in our likeness, but God’s likeness. Not only was he seen by us on ultrasounds, but he was seen by God. Not only was he in the hands of good doctors at the hospital, he was in the hands of the Saviour who could rescue him from his greatness sickness: sin.
When it was hard to see beyond his Down Syndrome, we wrote letters to Noah reminding ourselves of these truths and other things God says about who Noah truly is. We also made time to visit friends who had children who had Down Syndrome or heart defects and learn from their journeys. God's provision for these families and their steadfast trust in him spoke in volumes to us and gave us great peace.
What are some of the joys of parenting a child with a disability?
Noah models to us a steadfast delight in God's good gifts. He is beautiful example to us of contentment and joy. We find ourselves continually energised by his happy personality.
His slower pace of learning also gives us more opportunity to notice, relish in, and celebrate his achievements and development. Seeing him reach particular milestones and overcome some health hurdles has given us great reason to praise God for the healing and growth He provides Noah.
It is a joy to share a close connection with other families who have a child with additional needs and to learn from them, empathize with them, and support them. It's also a privilege to learn alongside our family and church family, in a very practical way, the way God sees those with disabilities and the way Jesus serves them.
It is so special to see Noah learning about Jesus his King. Seeing him sign basic gospel truths such as 'Jesus died on the cross' and 'Jesus is the king of the world' is incredibly moving, as is his enthusiasm for reading the Bible, going to church, and singing.
What are some of the challenges you have faced while parenting a child with a disability?
We’ve been learning that there are different kinds of challenges. Some are acute, short-term challenges that bring great relief when resolved, and then there are some longer-term ones that require patience and perseverance.
An acute challenge for us was Noah's heart surgery. The day of surgery was intense and emotionally draining, waiting 10 grueling hours to find out if he was alive and well and then finding him covered by wires, tubes, and scars. The months either side of this surgery, sitting helplessly beside Noah in hospital as he faced difficulty breathing and feeding, were very difficult.
Longer term challenges may be the day-to-day weight of the uncertainty about his future health and carrying the responsibility of providing a high level of support and supervision.
Yet we give thanks for many of these things too - especially our health system and the life-saving care Noah received. We rejoice even in the sufferings, knowing our heavenly hope, and that we can depend on our good Father to supply our every need.
How has your faith been stretched or grown on your parenting journey?
Erica: The biggest thing I’ve learnt is dependence on God.
My dependence on God grew exponentially as I watched the hospital monitors Noah was connected to beeping endlessly as he struggled with basic functions. I saw how much I take for granted that every breath comes from the Lord and that every heartbeat is under his watch - that we depend on him for all our health and life. This propelled me into prayer, more than ever before; not just for Noah but for everything.
Having many of my earthly hopes for Noah dashed, turned me further toward the glorious hope awaiting us, which outshone all the earthly losses. My eyes were set on the heaven we see in the book of Revelation; to the light-filled city and throne room of God, where Noah would have a new body and be with God - the One who graciously made him, saved him, and loved him more than I ever could. And so I could entrust our journey to Him, however hard, because I knew how it ended. And I could see how our time with Noah as his earthly parents was given to us to prepare him for this glorious future.
Do you have any words of encouragement to share with other families of children with disabilities?
Matt: Something that Erica and I have reflected on many times is that God writes good stories for his children. None of us would choose to write disability into the lives of our children. I would never have written a third chromosome 21 into his DNA. But God did. And God is a much better story writer than me. My stories are all about me and my comforts; my ease; my selfish desires. But God is writing stories about the Lord Jesus. And because Jesus gave his life for me, I know that the stories about Him are good stories.
Our journey of life and parenthood was not what we had expected it to be. But it has been far more precious and beautiful than we had ever thought possible. I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful Noah’s story has been to watch and share as his father. But I can now say more clearly than ever before: God writes good stories for His children. The best stories. And we can trust Him.
Where are you based?
We live in multicultural Lakemba, in South-West Sydney, where Matt serves as a pastor at the Anglican church.
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The views and opinions expressed on this site are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of The 139 Collective. As a collective, we seek to humbly learn from each other’s experiences and remember the unity that we share in Christ even when our current viewpoints on the difficult topic of disability differ.
